Crazy and not crazy "get'er home" fixes and other errors in judgement/hindsight

[WVA_NATIVE]

I remember when I was a kid the wiper motor went out and dad tied a rope to the wipers and brought the rope in through the windows and tied it together and I would pull the rope back and fourth to wipe the window while dad drove.

WVaNative

[Classicrider]

I have rigged an electric fuel pump on the fuel line from the pump on my M4 6v71. It works very well for priming fuel filters after a change, but it will also run the engine for many many miles if your engine fuel pump stops working.Its just plumbed into the main fuel feed line with a simple on off switch..

[zubzub]

Some pretty good ones.
Here is a very obnoxious one.
I was driving to my buddies place in the country when the driveline support bearing seized on my old 1982, 245 Volvo.  Whacka whacka whacka the driveshaft started trying to destroy the tunnel.  Well I was only 5 odd miles to my buddies place (he was also my parts guy for old volvos) and since now I needed to buy more bits from him ( the carrier was destroyed when the bearing seized) I was not inclined to a tow...but needed to stabilize the driveshaft.  It was a nice hot day in summer, I scrounged around in the back and found the window brush from the previous winter, it was the cheapo kind but it had an ash handle, I jammed the handle against the driveshaft and somewhat stabilized  it.  It held for maybe 1/2 mile, then I got under there and did it again.....and again...and again...don't know how many times I did it but I made it to my buddies, pulled the shaft, put on a used carrier and bearing, went home (50 miles). 
It was super obnoxious repositioning that stick over and over again, and the whole situation was hot and sticky, and smelly (the rubber carrier burnt , then my stick kept burning) but I've gotta say the feeling of fixing your stuff and driving down the road when it's all over is one of the reasons I drive old rigs.  It just feels real good driving a 40 yr old car you have rebuilt  down the highway, and it feels even better driving my bus.

[artvonne]

  I can remember a few. I had a Chevy van overheat in the middle of nowhere with a stuck T-stat and only a screwdiver and pair of pliers. Nothing I could really do except pull off the hose and mangle the stat enough with the screwdriver so it would flow. Ran a bit on the cool side but it got me home.

  I lost a fan belt and used a piece of rope once.

  Ive bypassed heater cores that sprung leaks.

  Pinched off radiator tubes after holed by a rock.

  Put a gas can up on the roof of a Ford truck and gravity fed it to the engine after the pump quit.

  Ya just gotta be smarter than the machine.

[fortyniner]

Heres a good one.
Many years ago we were exploring trails in New Mexico and came across some guys with a 327 chevy powered jeep stuck at the bottom of a ravine. The engine had stalled. It would start but die right away so they could not make it out. Some investigation revealed a malfunctioning electric SU thumper pump. It would thump once each time the key was turned on but not keep pumping. We ended up wiring the pump to the brake lights  so each time the driver tapped the brake pedal it would pulse the pump. Each time it began to stall he just tapped the brake pedal a few times to build up some more fuel pressure and it would run for another 40 seconds or so. They drove right out of the ravine doing that and all the way back to town.

Anyone who ever owned an old brit car will be familiar with those funky SU fuel pumps.

-Tom P.

[Lin]

This was not my fix.  I was only a witness.  Over 35 years ago, our van broke down in India.  We got a mechanic to come out from a town about 5 miles away.  He determined we had a fuel pump problem.  So, to get us to town he took gulps of gasoline and blew it into the detached fuel line as one of us drove.

[robertglines1]

Lin    gas breath    couldn't have done it    when very young and very dumb--Blue Ridge Parkway midnite headlights failed  used flashlite to get down road...stupid lucky

[Kevin]

This one's pretty tame compared to what some of you maniacs did!  It's also more of a "Get 'er away from home fix, but maybe it might help someone sometime...

My wife Kathryn and I were minutes away from leaving for the coast for our customary anniversary camp-out when I decided it would be a good idea to drain the bowl of the Racor water separator. It is a Racor 1000 series - you know, great big buggar with the plastic amber-colored bowl? Anyway, I went ahead and drained 'er and screwed the plug back in. Off we went and all was fine until, after good and warmed-up, I began revving her to the gov for up shifts. The engine began to "hiccup" repeatedly. It was running fine before so I figured it must be something to do with the Racor. We limped back home and I revved 'er up in the driveway from under the hood and noticed bubbles coming up from the bottom of the Racor bowl. I immediately attempted to tighten the bowl drain and finished stripping the threads, which apparently I'd begun earlier. 

Naturally it was Sunday and my local truck supply house was closed. I checked with the auto parts stores but could not find any type of plug with the correct thread. Dang it!!! Kathryn was just thrilled... "Why'd ya have to screw with it ten seconds before we were ready to leave??!!"

In desperation, I phoned a friend and described the problem over the phone. He suggested that I get an expandable plug like plumbers use. Grabbed one at the local hardware store, stuffed it in and off we went. That plug worked perfectly and stayed in place for months before I finally got around to replacing it.

Cheers!

[zubzub]

Good bunch of McGivering, I'm resurrecting this in the hopes of a few more,.......

[Busted Knuckle]

I could go on and on for get-er home fixes but they wouldn't pass DOT regulations. So I'll keep my mouth shut so I don't get people all upset!
 BK  

[zubzub]

I could go on and on for get-er home fixes but they wouldn't pass DOT regulations. So I'll keep my mouth shut so I don't get people all upset!
 BK  

I for one would like to hear you go on and on about this.  I figure you might have a little experience on the subject, and I'm still learning.  Hopefully this is the thread where we don't get all aired up about DOT stuff.

BTW one of my most pathetic get home fixes was "charging" a battery using a "wall wart" thingy for a radio.  I was at a cottage and realized my '65 volvo was not charging.  I did not want to get a new charger in town (had 2 at home), and did not want to buy an extra battery (same) so I rigged up a trickle charger for the week using the wall wart ac/dc converter. 
   Drove home (300 miles) with no incidents, using minimal electrics and push starting after refueling etc...Them old Volvos gas engines use next to no juice, coil and contact points, mechanical temp gage, and an amp light that idiotically/but saves charge  stays off in certain no charge situations.

[artvonne]

I could go on and on for get-er home fixes but they wouldn't pass DOT regulations. So I'll keep my mouth shut so I don't get people all upset!
 BK  

 I hear ya brother. I suppose nobody would like hearing about the guys who towed a non running 4106 back to Minnesota from New Jersey with a tow bar behind a 1 ton Dodge pickup truck, with a gas powered air compressor in the truck bed powering the bus air system, with a "pilot" in the bus to work the brakes when needed so they could stop?? They did it twice with two different Busses!! I did not have any part in it, just was told about it by the Bus Company owners son.

[Chopper Scott]

I had a buddy towing his sprint car home from a race when he had the fuel pump in his tow rig quit. It was somewhere's in the 3 am time period. He pulled off the air cleaner, ran the line from his windshield washer to the carb vent, filled the reservoir up with  gas he syphoned from the tow rig into a jug and drove it on home 60 miles by hitting the washer when the carb bowls got empty. I guess that would be one way to figure your mileage!!! I think he said he had to stop about every 10 miles and pour another gallon in!

[Len Silva]

I could go on and on for get-er home fixes but they wouldn't pass DOT regulations. So I'll keep my mouth shut so I don't get people all upset!
 BK  

 I hear ya brother. I suppose nobody would like hearing about the guys who towed a non running 4106 back to Minnesota from New Jersey with a tow bar behind a 1 ton Dodge pickup truck, with a gas powered air compressor in the truck bed powering the bus air system, with a "pilot" in the bus to work the brakes when needed so they could stop?? They did it twice with two different Busses!! I did not have any part in it, just was told about it by the Bus Company owners son.

I'm sure it must have been a DOT approved gas powered air compressor.

[zubzub]

 
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I'm sure it must have been a DOT approved gas powered air compressor.
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If Dot says it has to be "original" equipment, I'm thinking that's pretty original in it's own way.