Off Topic Economics

[frank-id]

I'm going to New Zealand ...

>     Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008 update
>
>     SOCIALISM
>     You have 2 cows.
>     You give one to your neighbour.
>
>     COMMUNISM
>     You have 2 cows.
>     The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
>     FASCISM
>     You have 2 cows.
>     The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
>     NAZISM
>     You have 2 cows.
>     The State takes both and shoots you.
>
>     BUREAUCRATISM
>     You have 2 cows.
>     The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
>
>     TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
>     You have two cows.
>     You sell one and buy a bull.
>     Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
>     You sell them and retire on the income.
>
>     SURREALISM
>     You have two giraffes.
>     The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
>
>     AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
>     Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
>
>     ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
>     You have two cows.
>     You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
>     The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
>     The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
>     You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
>     No balance sheet provided with the release.
>     The public then buys your bull.
>
>     THE ANDERSEN MODEL
>     You have two cows.
>     You shred them.
>
>     A FRENCH CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
>
>     A JAPANESE CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
>     You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
>
>     A GERMAN CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
>     AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>     You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
>     You decide to have lunch.
>
>     A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     You count them and learn you have five cows.
>     You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>     You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
>     You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
>     A SWISS CORPORATION
>     You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
>     You charge the owners for storing them.
>
>     A CHINESE CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     You have 300 people milking them.
>     You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
>     You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
>     AN INDIAN CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     You worship them.
>
>     A BRITISH CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     Both are mad.
>
>     AN IRAQI CORPORATION
>     Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
>     You tell them that you have none.
>     No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
>     You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
>
>     A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
>     You have two cows.
>     Business seems pretty good.
>     You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
>     THE BOEING CORPORATION
>     They have two cows, they decide to let the French produce the milk.
>     Something is lost in the translation and the French 'milk' Boeing.
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[jackhartjr]

Good one Frank!
Jack

[cody]

The sun came out and now I can see my problem and the cause of my confusion, I have two sheep and a bus lol.

[oldmansax]

To quote someone else in another post, "Who needs TV when when you have this board!"

This is wonderful entertainment.

TOM

[Songman]

"Cows, to '&#%-#%@$ %#&$' with cows! We have no cows. In fact, we don't need cows. I don't have to show you any stinking cows, you '$&#%' cabrón and malas palabras!"

[HB of CJ]

Ho ho ho, hee hee hee.  Very good Frank.  Still where you are and own Crowns?, or do I have the wrong Frank?