OT:Laugh out loud

[bubbaqgal]

  A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:
   
   SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
   HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
   10 MILES

   He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:

   SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
   HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
   5 MILES

   Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

   SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
   HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
   NEXT RIGHT

   His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the Far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

   SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

   He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in along black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

   He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."

   "Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door." he does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

   He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

   GO IN PEACE.
   YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
   SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.

[Kristinsgrandpa]

Thanks Bubbagal, that one kinda helped with my depression.

I was feeling depressed last week, so I called the mental health help line. Like all other call centers, it has been out- sourced to a third world location.

When I told the operator in Pakistan that I was feeling suicidal, he got very excited and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly a plane.

Ed

[bubbaqgal]

Do you need flying lessons?

[JohnEd]

You guys gotta stop smokin that stuff.

John

[Lee Bradley]

Guess I'm getting old. First time I heard that it was $2. 

[kyle4501]

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.


My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'


Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.


And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'