Joke of the week! Stupid... but bus related....

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

A Sesamee Street bus
Once there was this bus which happened to be from Sesamee Street. On the bus were some very strange people with very strange things to do. First there were two identical twins whose names were both Pattie. They were very big and muscular, especially for women. Next there was a man named Ross. He was a extrodinary guy so he was dubbed "Special Ross". After that there was a hefty, overweight man named Leonard. Since his cheeks were so puffy people decided to nickname him "Leonard Cheeks". Finally, all the people on the bus had bunions at which they feverously picked and scratched.

What do we call this bus filled with strange people? Of course; we call them: "Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin' bunions, on a Sesamee Street bus!"

[Dallas]

OUCH

[cody]

Now thats bad lol, I love it.

[Dallas]

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of OAPs when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks her: "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

"We just love the chocolate around them."

[cody]

Would the definition of "mixed emotions" be your new Prevost going over a cliff with a lawyer in it?

[kyle4501]

This woman got on a bus, and sat down next to a drunk. The drunk looked up, looked at the baby, and said to the lady "Jeezus Lady, that's the butt-ugliest baby I've ever seen in my life!"

The woman began to scream like bloody murder, and it cause the bus driver to stop the bus. He came back to see what the problem was, and the woman told the bus driver that the drunk had insulted her. He ejected the drunk from the bus and began to console the woman.


He said, "I'm very sorry about this situation, Ma'am. Our bus company prides ourselves on customer service and the ability to provide a safe, secure hassle-free ride. Let me take your name and number. We will get you a free lifetime bus pass on our service, and when we pull into the bus station, I'll go to the snack bar and get a banana for your monkey.

[kyle4501]

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

[brojcol]

kyle,

I think I just wet my pants!

LOL

[superpickle]

I  guess there isnt any other place to tell Jokes that bad.... is There ? 

[Kristinsgrandpa]

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."

Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

The following year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."

Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

Ed

[rayshound]

THOUGHT PROVOKING!!!
Can you cry under water?
___
  How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
   _____
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
   _____
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
  _____
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  _____
What disease did cured ham actually have?
   _____
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
   _____
  Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?
    _____
  If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    _____
 
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
  _____
  Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
   _____
  Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway.
    _____
  Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
    _____
  Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
   _____
  If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
    _____
  Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
    _____
  If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
    _____
  Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
   _____
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
    _____
  If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
    _____
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
    _____
  Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
    _____
  Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
    _____
  Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
    _____
  Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
    _____
  Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place