BUS-BYIN II

[boxcarOkie]

PONY UP SOME COIN WE HAVE A COACH FOR YOU

A bus-owner on this board and I have been emailing each other and discussing the pro's and cons of bus ownership.  By the way YOUR name came up several times, I think it is important that YOU know this so I am now deciding to disclose all of this important information to the pubic.

Meanwhile, during our electronic internet bonding process, the question of "Why we own a bus was presented.  Why it is that we bought a bus to begin with, what ownership of one of these monsters entails, and discussing at length how it is that we found ourselves at this particular junction of time in our lives.  And last, why some folks often believe everything they read on bus boards and the Internet." 

YOUR NAME was again mentioned, I suppose some eye-ball rolling and ocassional snickering, but it was not a video call, it was Email, so I dunno.

When the bus-owner on the left coast asked me these impotent questions, of course, the only answer I could present was: I-don?t-know-why-I-did-it-dot.com. (which I now understand is a common affliction of bus owners)  You might have noticed some of it here ... Often there are no logical answers to simple questions.

In my case it dredged up some fond memories of my head-first plunge into the bus world almost thirteen years ago.  Isn't strange how time just kind of sneaks up on you ... It seems as if it was only yesterday.

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Banker:  Well, I see by your paperwork that you have started to think about purchasing a bus in the near future. I've reviewed your credit score, gone over your account balances, and I have spoken with some of our loan officers. Frankly, I seem to be running into a bit of a problem and I was wondering if you could perhaps help me out?

You: What exactly is the problem?

Banker: Mechanically speaking it appears that you are qualified to do nothing and of course are irretrievably stupid, you could quite uh, well, very well be out of your mind.

You: That seems kind of harsh.  But to answer your first question?  I put together a swing set from Sears once (We needed one to do an outa-frame engine swap on a 55 Chevy).  I am sitting there wondering: "What is the big deal?  Its just a fifty-year old bus for cryin? out loud.  I mean, how hard could any of this be?

Banker: I'm sorry. I suppose your entire life, your parents have told you that you're smart and capable?  Your friends admire you for your ability to take on monumental impossible tasks and still somehow survive.  It says here that at the age of ten, you wrapped a towel around your neck and jumped off the roof of your fathers' house emulating Superman?

You: Of course they have.  Yeah I did that, wanted you to know that I am not afraid to try new things or adventure in my life.  For instance, buying a bus is a new thing and certainly it could qualify as an adventure, don?t you think so?

Banker: Well they're full of it. I have never encountered anyone so ill-equipped to enter the bus community in all my years of being a banker and a recently released part time RV Salesman.  Have you been staying in an area that might have lead in the drinking water?  Even Superman would not be this d-u-m-b.

You: You're exaggerating, I can't be that hopeless.'

Banker: Am I? When I asked you why it was that you wanted a bus, you never came up with a correct answer, you answered correctly only 15% of the time.  A few of them, you just sat there with that deer in the headlight look and shrugged your shoulders.

You: One out three isn't that bad.

Banker:  Exactly my point. You also seem to have exaggerated the "appearance factor" over the maint. issues two to one, in your description of the used coach you hope to purchase.

You: No I didn't.

Banker: Let's see what it was that you wrote? Here it is: "Really nice looking stainless and the wheels are really, really shiny, and my wife would be a looker in that smoking hot Big Bad Mama with painted swirls on the side."

You: I don't remember writing that.

Banker: You have terrible memory skills.

You: That's not fair.

Banker:  And a delusional perception of worthiness.

You:  But?

Banker: Moving on to maint. issues, you could not find a brake caliper if you had a map.  Buses, especially OLDER BUSES require parts, lots of parts, have you considered this? 

Banker:  Again,you seem to have problems with new information, pay attention there will be a test later on, I suspect you will not be able to get the answers right.

You: Well I drunk me some beers with Bus People, and I stayed in a Holiday Inn last night, so I aint worried, that wrong answer thing can't be all that uncommon.  What is you talking about?

Banker: It was a map of the entire underbelly of the bus.

You: Oh that.  I thought it was something else.  A schematic for the plumbing system or possibly a link to the back bedroom carousel clothing thingy that I can hang my ball-caps on.

Banker: You seem to have absolutely no grasp of economics or what it really costs to operate one of these things.

You: I know a little about it.  They are cheaper to operate than say, a houseboat on the Columbia River system, yeah, that is right.

Banker:  You listed the three different mileage factors for the bus.  One for on the road, one while parked, and one while running the inverter.

You: Those numbers are good numbers, the seller gave them to me.

Banker:  You took a course on motorcycle repair in school?

You: Yes I did.  How did you know that, did I write that in there, let me see ....

Banker: Yes you did and you think this will help you understand the intricacies and nuances of a 45 ft --- 45,000 lb. bus?  You listed that in your application, can you tell me how this will relate to this dream of bus ownership you seem to be reluctant to let go of?

You:  Can you end a sentence like that?

Banker: No.

You: Really?

Banker: NO YOU MORON, but this is not an English lesson, this is buying a bus 101 ... This next one is especially perplexing: "Under make and model you wrote in Bigfoot." I find that disturbing for at least several different reasons.

You:  Well I had to write something and I could not spell "Iggle."

Banker:  We will go over the paper work again, and our loan committee will let you know.  You should be getting a call from him soon ...   

Like I said in the beginning YOU cannot (under any reasonable reason or circumstance) ... Trust or Believe ANYTHING you find on the Internet ... By the way, I didn't get the loan, but I did get this neat little ballpoint-pen with a chain attached to it off the counter on my way out.

Watch those right handers.*

BCO

(* Gonna be a long winter Clifford, long winter indeed.)

[Jim Blackwood]

I kinda represent that comment...

[chessie4905]

I wonder if that electric motor in the picture still works....where is that? I could use that for my hvac when boondocking.

[muldoonman]

Cliff Notes Version,,,,,Don't buy a bus!

[luvrbus]

Cliff Notes Version,,,,,Don't buy a bus!

Buying a bus is ok you just need deep pockets with a lot of old Ben's in the deep pockets 

[buswarrior]

Trouble is...

Those it is aimed at, don't get it, that it is aimed at them...

Law of the jungle and Natural selection WILL be invoked...

Thanks for this!

Happy coaching!
Buswarrior

[boxcarOkie]

Cliff Notes Version,,,,,Don't buy a bus!

From time to time the people who built my shop, ask to bring a prosective customer by and allow him to look at it.  Which is okay with me, because they also slip me some freshly pressed Benjamin's for the service.

So the appointed day came.  We waltzed thru it all and then I asked him what was he going to do with the building?  He pointed at my old hoopie and replied, "we are shopping around for a bus and I am going to store it in there."

Whoa!  Mama stop the turnip wagon right c'here.  And a little voice came to me from deep inside and said:  "Don't do it.  You cannot save him, once bitten, they all go down."  And I said,"Yeah, yeah, but we might be able to save him?  All the time knowing he would just be another helpless cause wandering the by-ways of North America searching a thrifty mechanic and even cheaper source of parts."

But I knew I had to try.

I then gave him (with measured care and compassion mind you) the standard unadulurated non-edited eighteen minute version of why a guy should NOT BY A BUS.  Last I heard, he went thru on the deal and the building is now up.  I also understand it has wood floors and basketball goals at each end.

Smart Man.

CesteLeVive

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[boxcarOkie]

I wonder if that electric motor in the picture still works....where is that? I could use that for my hvac when boondocking.

I believe it is the easternly part of Clifford's backyard, right near the corner.  He once gave a real good direct path to a locking door do-hickey Iggle thing-a-mah-bob.  Nowadays I hear he is selling right outside of his house like my Uncle Frank used to after he stepped on a garden rake and ended up dressing in women's clothing from then on.

But that another story all together.

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[Jon]

Do you folks know how many nights you could spend in a penthouse in Las Vegas for what it costs to own a bus?

[Oonrahnjay]

Do you folks know how many nights you could spend in a penthouse in Las Vegas for what it costs to own a bus? 

    Rank Order???
1)   Being boiled to death in bad beer?
2)   Owning a bus?
3)   Spending a night in a Las Vegas penthouse?

    I'll go for the beer. 

[muldoonman]

Do you folks know how many nights you could spend in a penthouse in Las Vegas for what it costs to own a bus?

Hey Jon,, Don't know how many times my lovely wife has enlightened me on this one fact.

[boxcarOkie]

Do you folks know how many nights you could spend in a penthouse in Las Vegas for what it costs to own a bus?

Hi everyone. I am happy to say I am finally BACK. No really...BACK!  I also smell a huge tidal wave of thread drift is heading this way.  After a very long hiatus and intermittent posting, I am finally back to blogging. I have also decided to get back to my central purpose - talking about all things intense, gifted, and creative relating to modern day huge more than likely worn-out used RV ownership.

Those of you who have been around for a while know that I am dedicated to helping gifted individuals understand and appreciate their unique intensities. I write books and articles on the topic, frequently speak to groups of parents, educators, parole officers and kids about random  topics, and work to help gifted individuals embrace all that they are.

Now for the good news, I will be posting 1-3 times a week on subjects related to giftedness that I find interesting. Additionally, I have decided to comb the web for interesting articles that I think will benefit gifted children, adults, as well as educators and parents. I hope that you join me as I revive this part of my feckless hopeless uninteresting life. And bring your friends. I've missed our wonderful conversations and am excited to get back to that.

As I prepare new posts, I have a question for you - "What KIND or TYPE of beer and does my estimate have to include room service?" 

(You see am crazy about BLT's and Baby Ruth candy bars)

Thanks everyone!

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[luvrbus]

Hey Jon,, Don't know how many times my lovely wife has enlightened me on this one fact.

Yep there is a guy that just bought a 89 Marathon Prevost with a DDEC engine that has been sitting in a park for 10 years he says it needs batteries  is he in for a surprise 

[boxcarOkie]

Some folks refer to them as their Mistress.

Example:  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1930445686998526&set=gm.1819829031405684&type=3&theater

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[Jon]

I bet I had 10 people ask me how many nights I could spend in a luxurious suite in LV within a week after buying our first bus. Here are some other questions I was sick of getting after the first month:

Did you win the lottery? no, moron. I actually earned the money to buy it. That always end the conversation.

Do you have a band on board? no, you won't recognize the name, but i invented Tampax. Nobody has a response to that.

How much did it cost? several million. That usually ends the conversation

How many does it sleep? two.  More silence.