OT...My Priceless Doctor

[Sojourner]

My Doctor Is Priceless!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let me tell you about my doctor. He is very good. If you tell him you want a
second opinion, he will go out and come in again.

He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized
she was Chinese.

While he was talking to me his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a
man here who thinks he is invisible."
The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."

Another time a man came running in the office and yelled, "Doctor, doctor,
my son just swallowed a roll of film."
The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops."

One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem."
The doctor asked, "When did it start? " The man replied, "When did what start?"

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice:
"Don't answer it."

My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell."
The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these. If they don't
work, give me a ring."

Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said,
"Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going
to those places.

You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an
appointment, and he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."

FWIW

Sojourn for Christ, Jerry

[captain ron]

After my prostate exam my doctor said every thing was fine , I said I should get a second opinion so he stuck another finger up there.

[H3Jim]

After being told by my doctor I had cancer, I asked for a second opinion.  He said OK, you're ugly too.

[captain ron]

If your doctor gives you 6 months to live, tell him you can't pay him, he'll give you another 6 months.

[JackConrad]

     I told my Dr. my left arm was sore. He said it was old age. I told him him my right arm was the same age and it was not sore.
     I told my Dr. it hurt when I raised my arm above my shoulder.  He said "Don't raise your arm above your shoulder, that will be $25, pay the nurse on your way out".

[jjrbus]

Your proctologist called.                               They found your head!!!!!!

[Sojourner]

It wasn't mine!!!!!!!!!!!

Everybody has a "double"

Jerry

[pipes]

True story!
A couple of years ago I went to the hospital to get a piece of the bus out of my eyeball from the grinder.
                                                        The front desk girl. while jotting down my medical history was suprised that I did not have any doctor and not taking  any medications at my age of 74.
When the doctor arrived and reading my chart said, wow!  NO doctor! Are you takeing ANY medications?
I replied, no.... Well only SPANTRAN, he said what the H is that!! ...........It's spanish fly and tranquiliser.....If I dont get any then I dont care. Doctor said OH boy I'll have to write that down!

.........................................................                                                             

I went to the Dentist.......... after the examination he said my teeth are ok ...BUT the gums have to come out!