Joke of the week # 14

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

Telling The Truth

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After theyve had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wifes going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. Where the hell have you been?" "Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"

Moral of the story:
Always tell your wife the truth. She wont believe you anyway.
At least your conscience is clear

[Busted Knuckle]

This was passed onto me by another bus nut! So I'm posting it for all to see, and I'm leaving the other nut out of it in case it offends anyone! I'm not really a Clinton Fan, but I like the joke! BK 

I Miss Bill Clinton


It doesn't matter what party you belong to -- this is hilarious.


From a show on Canadian TV there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.


"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton!  He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.


Number 1 - He played the sax.

Number 2 - He smoked weed.

Number 3 - He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now?  Look at him ... his wife works, and he don't!  And, he gets a check from the government every month.


Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.


Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.


When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."


The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."


Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between Bushes." 

[Busted Knuckle]

A Cowboy and his wife had just been married and went to a hotel for their honeymoon.  The man went to the front desk and asked for a  room.  He said, "This here is a very special 'casion... our  wedding night, and we need a wonderful suite."

The clerk winked and asked, "Bridal?"

The Cowboy thought about it a while and then replied,  "No, I guess not, I'll just hold on to her ears until she gets used to it.