Smoke is the key to all things

[Ednj]

I've posted this before but a search can't find it, must have been the old board?
Here goes=
>
>
It debunks all of your theories about how
electrical circuits function.

"A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke" by
Joseph Lucas

All electrical components and wiring
harnesses depend on proper
circuit functioning, which is the
transmission of charged ions by
retention of the visible spectral
manifestation known as "smoke".
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical
circuits work. Don't be
fooled by scientists and engineers talking
about excited electrons
and the like. Smoke is the key to all things
electrical.

We know this to be true because every time
one lets the smoke out of
an electrical circuit, it stops working.
This can be verified
repeatedly through empirical testing. For
example, if one places a
large copper bar across the terminals of a
battery, prodigious
quantities of smoke are liberated and the
battery shortly ceases to
function. In addition, if one observes smoke
escaping from an
electrical component such as a Lucas voltage
regulator, it will also
be observed that the component no longer
functions.

The logic is elementary and inescapable! The
function of the wiring
harness is to conduct the smoke from one
device to another. When the
wiring harness springs a leak and lets all
the smoke out of the
system, nothing works right afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable
for British motorcycles for
some time largely because they regularly
released large quantities of
smoke from the electrical system.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical
components are possibly
more prone to electrical leakage than their
Bosch, Japanese or
American counterparts. Experts point out
that this is because Lucas
is British, and all things British leak.
British engines leak oil,
British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks,
and disk brake systems leak
fluid, British tires leak air and British
Intelligence leaks national
defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British
electrical systems must leak
smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and
inescapable.

Sometimes you may miss the component
releasing the smoke that makes
your electrical system function correctly,
but if you sniff around
you can often find the faulty component by
the undeniable and
telltale smoke smell. Sometimes this is a
better indicator than
standard electrical tests performed with a
volt-ohm meter.

In conclusion, the basic concept of
transmission of electrical energy
in the form of smoke provides a clear and
logical explanation of the
mysteries of electrical components and why
they fail.

[HighTechRedneck]

I like this explanation.  Not only is it fun, but it also demonstrates the problem that scientists often have to deal with interpretting what they see.  Things are not always what they seem.

Hmmm.  The smoke theory got me thinking.  The American Indians weren't so technologically prmitive after all.  They developed long distance wireless communication centuries ahead of everyone else by controlling the release of smoke from natural elements.

[Busted Knuckle]

Now I can't think! Done let the smoke outta my brain on this one.
  BK 

[Lin]

This is why, in a post a while back, I suggested trying to put the smoke back into failed parts.  The idea was to use incense sticks because you could fit them inside the device that you were hoping to revitalize.

[HighTechRedneck]

This is why, in a post a while back, I suggested trying to put the smoke back into failed parts.  The idea was to use incense sticks because you could fit them inside the device that you were hoping to revitalize.

The key would be to get incense with the same acrid smelling smoke as an electrical device makes so that it would be compatible.

[BusMom]

When I fist started working on airplanes my first boss explained the importance of smoke and always keeping it contained within the wiring.  It applies even more with the bus I think.

[Green-Hornet]

The old saying about Lord Lucas was...Lucas "The Prince of Darkness"
When confronted about his poor lighting system he was quoted as saying "Gentleman should not motor after dark"

[HB of CJ]

Seems good to me.  My old Norton Interstate 750 (actually a 710) leaked just about everywhere possible.  The carbs leaked gas, the gas tank leaked gas, the gas lines leaked gas, the engine leaked oil, the primary case leaked oil, the transmission leaked oil, the chain dripped oil and the tire tubes leaked air.  Also the battery probably leaked tooos.

Why, I had to resort to an oil drip pan soosss I could park the bright yellow Norton inside my condo in the living room which seemed logical and since I owned the joint.  The landlord committiee did not appreciate the piece of art which adorned my living room.  I though it was just cool.  They did not like it.  Said it was a fire hazzard which was illogical since I was a firefighter.

Yeah, works for me.  The sun rises every morning in the East.  It varies a little with the seasons, but generally it rises every morning in the East.  Therefore...ergo....the Sun orbits the Earth.  Works for me.  And....I never rode my bike after dark because Prinze Lucas was always lerking close by.  Can I PLEASE have more wine now? 

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

Hi Ed,

Do you know what this means?....

I can throw away all the tools in my shop.... Don't need them anymore now that you discovered the root to all electrical functions.

I have one of theese Smoke Devices, so I can now repair Everything! Ok Folks, $50 dollars a Smoke. I'm equiped!

Or does this mean my Smoke machine just lost it's Smoke?? Hummm...

Thanks!
Nick-

[junkman42]

I disagree.  A lucas voltage regulator cannot leak smoke.  It would have to function in the first place to have smoke within its circuits.  The prince of darkness also did not like water.  I never made it to My destination in the rain riding My old Bonny.  How could any moron use a diode for a regulator?  My .02, John

[Dreamscape]

Way back when I used to work on Austin-Healeys, MG's and all things British, we used the word " Prince of Darkness has Arrived". They were sure challanging to work on and troubleshoot. I'm glad I'm over that!

Nice Bug-Eye greenhornet. I loved to drive mine, now I probably couldn't even get out of one, let alone get in!

Good post Ednj, brought back many memories of those days!

Paul

[lostagain]

I always thought the only good thing the Brittish ever made was HP sauce! LOL!

[Kirby-XL40-FL]

It is incumbent on all of us, as highly qualified electrical wizards, to keep the smoke contained at all times within the confines of each and every device.  Serious penalties can and will result from failure to do so.

Kirby

[Slow Rider]

BusMom ,

I have to politely disagree with you.  In a worst case scenario, you let too much smoke out of your bus electrics and the wheels stop turning. Unless someone hits you , you are okay till the tow truck arrives. 

The last time I checked, if you let too much smoke out of airplane electrics and the props/jet stops spinning, unless you are taxiing, waiting on the tow truck is not really an option.

That is one thing about the military I do miss, I loved to fly.

Frank

[uncle ned]

         I don't know why every one is down on my british cars and bikes,  Try to start a jap bike with the battery down. MY bonnie does not even need a battery. The only reason for the honda is the "button" that makes it go if the battery is up.  also for "Charley Davidson" to ride bitch on.

The mgs' have never failed me always ready to go.
the only concession to electronics on them is the new pointless ignition. only because my eyes will not let me set the old style.

Uncle ned

ps  think the world of charley just don't let him know or he will get the big head