OT

[pipes]

Baptising an Irishman

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.  

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk shouts, "Yes, oi am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.

He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, oi haven't found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a
little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus me brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No,oi I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the
water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found
Jesus?"

(Are you ready for this?)






NO.... are you sure this is where he fell in ?

[Hi yo silver]

I've just got to pass this one on to my brother, who's a Baptist preacher. Thanks!
Dennis

[Kristinsgrandpa]

Any one play golf?

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"
Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years".
Tiger says, "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or f arther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

"But, how do you putt?" asks Tiger

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."

Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. That a problem?"

Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"

Stevie says, "Pick a night".


Ed

[Ncbob]

Great golf story, Ed...I'll pass that one along and will mail the royalties to the house.

Bob