Joke of the Week #11

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

So That Is Politics

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thinks a little and says, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now." "Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."

[Clarke Echols]

The key to understaqnding American politics:

     "Five percent of the people actually think.
     Ten percent think they think, and
     The other eighty-five percent would rather die than think."

             -- Thomas Edison --

[Busted Knuckle]

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around
9:58 PM.

He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a
man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did
a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying,
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM
news and so I knew he would jump."


The blond replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money......

(this was sent to me by an ex-girl friend! and yes she's blonde! LOL!) BK 

[kyle4501]

Two little old ladies are driving down the road. They can barely see over the dash.

The passenger notices they just ran a red light but thinks she must be loosing it & is glad she isn't driving.

As they blow thru the next intersection, she thinks the light is red again. Now she is really getting concerned that she may have a problem & is trying to decide what she needs to do about her eyesight.

When they go thru the next intersection and the light is red, she becomes so unnerved about her new problem that she asks her friend "Were the last 3 traffic lights red?"

Her friend replies "Oh CRAP, am I driving?"