Joke of the week #8

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

Amish Driver

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

"Ma'am," said the cop, "I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy."

"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home," responded the Amish lady.

"That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. Have your husband take care of that right away!" instructed the cop.

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.

"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?" asked Jacob.
"He said the reflector is broken," replied the lady.

"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?" wondered Jacob.
"I'm not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake"...

[HighTechRedneck]

The way some days go, I can really identify with the horse. 

[Clarke Echols]

 Please read the following passage quietly to
yourself for the next 30 seconds. Ready? Here it is:

"                                              "

Congratulations. You have just performed the entire
Samuel Beckett play, "Breath," first introduced to
the stage in April 1970. Without actors or dialogue.

[Bosshosssport96]

Heres one for you all

Actual Newspaper Ads:


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little bitch. Bites.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat ... Been out a while. Better be a
reward for this nasty little thing.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED: Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300: Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE: Call Stephanie.

(AND THE BEST ONE)

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes
Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married
last month Wife knows everything!!!