Joke of the Week # 17

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

Wearing The Pants

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said. "That's right!!" said the husband, "and don't you forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until you change your attitude."

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

I thought you guy's would like theese....

Nick-

[kyle4501]

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is
wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally
conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion
sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into
earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity
prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

[Busted Knuckle]

 Blonde's Medical Exam
> >
> > A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time
> > found herself alone in a small waiting room.
> >
> > She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming
> > examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the
> > back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor
strode
> in.
> >
> > Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and
> > down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
> >
> > "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that
> > until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

[Brill-o]

                 
                                This one's not often spoke about :



A Senior Center hired BK's Coach Service for an entertaining trip down to the Carolinas. The bus was packed to the brim-

As Bryce was just a mile or two from Dallas' place, he planned a scheme to stop in and see him-

He announced to the group "he was taking a slight detour, so they could witness the greatest hypnotist in the country"-
"People come from miles around to see this famed hypnotist do his stuff", he claimed.

The group was thrilled!

As BK pulled to a stop and Dallas came out and went up to the coach door, he winked and announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people to be put into a trance, Dallas intends to hypnotize each and every member of this trip".

The excitement was almost electric as Bryce withdrew a beautiful commemorative Continental Trailways antique pocket watch from his coat pocket and handed it to Dallas with another wink. "It's a very special watch", he said. "It's been in my family for six generations".

So Dallas, shaking his head reluctantly went along with the game-

"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch", he said and began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting. "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch".

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from Dallas' fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Crap"said Dallas...






It took three days to clean up BK's coach-



Cheers-

[Nick Badame Refrig/ACC]

I like that one Brill-o......

Nick

[Busted Knuckle]

Me too Brill-O! But now I know I need to make sure that watch has a safety strap on it! LOL!  BK 

That was good I'll have to thimk fors a spell to top that! An I'm try'n to think , But nothin's happen'n!

[Kristinsgrandpa]

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money, I'm broke!" and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a darned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning." What part of broke do you not understand?"


Ed