You're a redneck if:
You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the table...In Front Of Her Children
The Blue Book value of your truck varies depending on how much gas is in it
Your Junior Prom offered day care
You have been married 3 times...An have the same in-laws
You have to go outside to get something out of the Fridge
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk
You think the last words to Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, Start Your Engines"
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia Leader
A family member died after saying "Hey, Ya'll Hold My Beer and Watch This"
You lit a match in your bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels
You can't marry your sweetheart because there is a law against it
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean
One of your kids was born on a pool table
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos
Your Halloween Pumpkin has more teeth than you do
In the same vain.......
You might be a farmer if:
Your tractor is larger than your house.
Half your assets are in the pickups that haven't been started since grandpa was alive.
You use your swather to mow your lawn.
Your tractor doubles as day care for your kids while you plow.
Your pickup is louder and more powerful than a 747 taking off.
Your well can handle one faucet on at a time.
And the list goes on
Skip
Being from Los Angeles and our wonderful drug problems (actually drugs are everywhere-whether you know it or not).
You might be a redneck if when everyone starts talking about Crack you pull up your pants. Good Luck, TomC
I might be a redneck it...
Well, nevermind. I don't think there is any question. I am definitely a redneck! ;D
For my 35th birthday, Jeff Foxworthy send me a note that said "If you were born in GA on November 9th, you might be a redneck!"
I know I are, and I really think BK are one also. LOL
Richard
You might be a Redneck if:
You have even entertained the thought of putting a mini go Kart track in your back pasture,
and it was mainly for you, not the kids!
Cliff
1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.
11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."
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Living here in 'Redneck' country I learned early on that the definition of a virgin, in the mountains, is a 12 year old girl who can run faster than her 14 year old brother.
Oh, that was baaaaad! Shame on you Bob! :-[
Bob
You might be a redneck if your idea of home is this....
A hookup for your bus, a tractor that cost 2 times what your bus cost
and you live here..... 8)
Dave, u ain't a redneck 'cause of that. u'r a redneck cause u'r bragging about it ;D ;D ;D ;D
Only a redneck could host a NON rally for busnuts at an Airstream park.
Regards
Jerry 4107 1120
Quote from: DrDave-Reloaded on August 30, 2007, 04:23:12 PM
You might be a redneck if your idea of home is this....
A hookup for your bus, a tractor that cost 2 times what your bus cost
and you live here..... 8)
But I don't see the "Redman" chewin' tabacker sign painted on the barn!
Quote from: DrivingMissLazy on August 30, 2007, 08:19:39 AM
I know I are, and I really think BK are one also. LOL
Richard
My "CB Handle" aint "HICKABILLY" fer nut'n!
Quote from: Jerry Liebler on August 30, 2007, 06:46:54 PM
Only a redneck could host a NON rally for busnuts at an Airstream park.
Regards
Jerry 4107 1120
Who said rednecks couldn't appreciate a good thing when they saw it? ;D
'Sides, I is a Airstream club member now. Got me one of them fancy red numbers to put on the silver bullet & everything. Them airstreamers don't know what they have done. . . . yet ;D :o ::)
So Jerry, are you gonna be there?
I think I now is a redneck.
Two true stories.
1) One Christmas I got my wife a new Stihl chainsaw. The scary part.......it's what she asked for.
2) Just yesterday I gave my wife her anniversary present. A new deer rifle with scope. Again scary, she's excited about it.
But then again, WE ARE in Idaho. (.....and loving it !!!) Ex-Californians and never going back !!!!
Chris & Cheryl Christensen
Quote from: chris4905 on August 31, 2007, 01:29:29 PM
I think I now is a redneck.
Two true stories.
1) One Christmas I got my wife a new Stihl chainsaw. The scary part.......it's what she asked for.
2) Just yesterday I gave my wife her anniversary present. A new deer rifle with scope. Again scary, she's excited about it.
But then again, WE ARE in Idaho. (.....and loving it !!!) Ex-Californians and never going back !!!!
Chris & Cheryl Christensen
Hmmmm, Let's put this all together....
A Chainsaw?
A High Powered Rifle with scope?
How good is your life insurance?
Has the wife bought any of those Big "Forceflex" trashbags and have you noticing her sharpening her boning knives lately?
I think it might be time for a Dragon skin vest.
;)
Wow what a woman" some guys are just plain lucky in love. A woman who can not only bring home the vineson, but can saw up the fire wood to cook it too. Dang she is a keeper.
WVaNative
you know your a redneck if your kids trip over the chrismas lights hunting for easter eggs!
Quote from: kyle4501 on August 31, 2007, 01:01:10 PM
Quote from: Jerry Liebler on August 30, 2007, 06:46:54 PM
Only a redneck could host a NON rally for busnuts at an Airstream park.
Regards
Jerry 4107 1120
Who said rednecks couldn't appreciate a good thing when they saw it? ;D
'Sides, I is a Airstream club member now. Got me one of them fancy red numbers to put on the silver bullet & everything. Them airstreamers don't know what they have done. . . . yet ;D :o ::)
So Jerry, are you gonna be there?
So the question I have Kyle is when are ya gonna get one of the "orphans" fixed up to pull the silver bullet to the club getogethers witt? Cool huh? Or am I just a real redneck fer think'n it? BK aka HICKABILLY!
Quote from: Busted Knuckle on September 01, 2007, 06:16:36 PM
So the question I have Kyle is when are ya gonna get one of the "orphans" fixed up to pull the silver bullet to the club getogethers witt? Cool huh? Or am I just a real redneck fer think'n it? BK aka HICKABILLY!
Short answer = when time allows.
Longer answer = I'm having tons of fun NOW ;D & meeting great people too ;D ;D
Not only that, but I'm spending time with the wife & kids. & my family is alone at the top of my priority list. I work in bus stuff when I can & the bus stuff has led to some friendships that most can't even dream about. ;D 8)
I'm enjoying life immensely & I'm not about to run past the present in hopes of something better in the future, now is all we really have & I feel blessed to have it so good right now. If that changes tomorrow, I'll have no regrets.
I am planning for the future tho, I'll have a ready source of materials when the wrenches start flying around here. 8)
I don't expect others to agree with my opinions, if that were to happen very often, I'd question their sanity ;D
Start watching when you hear me say "hey y'all, watch what I'm gonna do to this here bus"
You start asking for your french fries with the grease on the side so you can put it in the fuel tank.
You might be a redneck if....
Just use your imagination here
Nick-
And 1 more......